it was not a dream

last night happenned

i went on an exclusive party with AMANDA BLANK....WITHHH!

not to see or watch but WITH!

went to bed when the sun came up in um NYC!

so umm round two tonite!

this time invite from new favorite friend

BrooklynSTYLE!

did i mention last night i left my fisheye at the bar...and called today maybe hoping some decent sole found it...and they DID!

and theyre holding it for me and im picking it up tmrw!

Dear beautiful soul,

I love you more than you ever imagine...the monetary value of the camera is only $30

but the pictures were worth wayyyy more than you can know!

and now i'll have them back! ;)

newyorkers are wonderful and NICE...soooo NICE

i dont think i can leave

humility

there is no such thing as a "truly generous act"

the bushmen of the kalahari understand that

i am going to make a conscience effort to be like

them...Seeing as we live in a world full of

LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!

we miss other things we should learn to be humble

and gracious and be proud but not boast

why

is it that i think of some more than others?
i spent my entiring year living with her and i dont even remember, but some I've met a few times but feel like I've known them forever...

am I so spoiled...but still complain? Why do others?

did i leave warm sunny happy hawaii and move to the fucking icy bitter cold newyork?

NEW NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: Not buy anymore clothes/shoes...I dont need any, nor do I have any room for any...

Dear Purchase

You try too hard
and it shows.


I've decided I need an oversized navyblue blazer and orange lipstick (for when I get pale again, which will happen in a month kinda excited about it!)

and that I hate jeans...they're ugly, stiff, ordinary and they dont even keep you warm!

are you

happy now that you're living the life everyone wanted you to have?

wander...wonder....wunder

today was absolutely glorious

i had no place to be
no one to be with so i just explored


and i came across a beadshop

went inside

found beads cut in northern india and tibet

and asked this wonderful indian lady how to make earrings

ive never done it before

but i sat there for almost 3 hours

and look look look look what i made!

dangerous

im addicted to pain killers i take at least 3 a day...because my wisdom teeth hurt...but i got them pulled a week ago...WTF!!

i havent slept in days...which is retarded since i run my body hard all day...then go home dead tired...collapse in my bed and wake up an hour later fully wired...WTF!!!

i just want sleep...please....just one night...not to wakeup i dont want to resort to sleeping pills but at this point im desperate...

i have to fill out my FAFSA and i dont know what to put...fuck i dont know where ill be next year...but it wont be newyork...goddamn though i wish i could pickup purchase and move it to hawaii i really like my classes and professors...