when i cant think of anything to say myself

i say what others say better

not very good with love poems to the world
so they usually end up saying
"How's it going?" to everyone they meet instead

story people

i sometimes pretend im not here
so that they dont talk to me


when i first met him i knew in a moment i would have to spend
the next few days re-arranging my mind so there'd be room for him
to stay

I have

nostalgia

this video

was the most accurate depiction of hawaii i've ever seen

and for that i loved it

and missed home

just a few short weeks away

sick

im sorry but

i enjoy word variation

i dont find these things relevant

im not really liking it

im am not the girl in the book

there is no connection

im not 15 anymore

im not that girl in the book anymore

i dont chase things

it doesn't bother me anymore

i don't like this book

yet I will continue to read it

I can never ignore a book

but please dont send me one again

time

is fluid

to grasp it is unattainable

to measure it is impossible

to see it is invisible

to know it as life

I can't say

that I have many friends.

that this fact even makes me sad.

that those I counted as friends were.

that I waste my time with people, just so I don't feel lonely.

that my misery loves company.

that my joy loves company.

that I need to feel needed.

that I care what you think of me.

that I will be here long.

writings

My aim is to write everyday

yet this is not possible

some days I will have more to say than others

some days I will forget

some days I won't remember where I am

some days where I am is not here

some days being here won't feel real

some days I just won't feel like it

some days I'll be too busy with life

some days will be fleeting

A declaration

people get so suspicous sometimes
with the amount of information i posses about them
im not a stalker or a creeper
im a listener
the reason i know so much is because i listen, then i remember
i always look when no ones looking, and i see everything even things im not suppose to
its all in the details
the way she touches her hair when he talks to her, she likes him i can tell
or if he looks away when he speaks shes hiding

i know a lot more about people than i lead on
i prefer the life of a wallflower than a wildflower
the simplest things are often the most beautiful things
its easy to miss them

i often discover many things that people dont mean for others to see
these things are the best
i never repeat these things aloud
i am selfish and keep these tiny beautiful outlets of peoples translucent souls to myself
you might feel embrassed that i read your private thoughts
but i loved them
and it makes me think so much more of you
and i like feeling this special because i got to see this
even if it was not intended
im not judging you, im loving you

thank you

and im sorry